eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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