stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
