We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
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WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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