Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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