using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
