If i come over, it means nothing
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
