i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
