its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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