you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
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Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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