we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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