glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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