I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
