All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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