smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm too high and old for this...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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