he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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