Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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