would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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