Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
