I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
