Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
