She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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