Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
