i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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