does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
