he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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