This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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