I bet he comes in French.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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