Your tits are I can't wait for
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
