went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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