Me. At least after what I've been through.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
