The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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