please come you make the beer taste better
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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