I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
