I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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