So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
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they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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