He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you never un-have a 4some
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
