that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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