He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
