what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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