She is in my trunk
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
