do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
