I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Pooping to opera.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize