doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
