Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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