So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
