just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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