remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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