I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
