Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
