True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.