he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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