I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
