I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
