Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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