We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
