I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
