well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
