she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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