its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
