he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I take back everything I said about communal showers
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
