Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
