i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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