So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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