the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
