I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
