I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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