Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
