Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
love makes seman taste better
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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